People Pleaser | Mollie'sThoughts

Hello everyone.

It's been a while. I'm glad to be returning after lots of university application organising - applied to all my unis now, hooray! Today I thought I'd do a Mollies Thoughts post as it has been a very long time since I last wrote one. Today's post is about people pleasing.

Since being little, I have always enjoyed helping to make other people happy. Everyone does; there's no feeling like putting a smile on someone else's face. Being a people-pleaser is a noble profession and in a world of many "how will this benefit me"s, it is an occupation which could do with more takers. It is not, however, an easy job.
People pleasing is, just as the name implies, pleasing other people even sometimes at the cost of your own happiness. This is really what I want to talk about today. Sometimes in the process of trying to please others we can forget that we also need to be happy ourselves. It's not selfish, it's life. No one is responsible for other people's happiness. We are responsible for not negatively affecting someone's happiness, but it is not our job to create it. That is far too much pressure for one person to take on. Nobody can make everyone happy; nobody can please everyone. There are going to be times in life when what you want isn't what someone else wants and there is nothing you can do about that.  This is something we all have to cope with because in life we change and we grow and in order to do this you can't question every move you make because somebody else might not like it. Life is yours to make and life is yours to live. So long as you're a kind and compassionate person, there is nothing more anyone can ask of you. A way of making others happy is by being your fun and happy self and you cannot be that if you spend your life shaping yourself to other people's expectations.
Live for you.

Just something I've been pondering recently. I will see you soon now that I'm a little more organised again. Until then,

Be Your Own Bestfriend | Mollie'sThoughts#1

Hello my lovely readers.

This is technically a "bonus" blog today as it is not yet Thursday (when I usually upload) so I am technically not late. Technically.

As promised I am writing my first installment of "Mollie's Thoughts" today - how exciting! - and I thought I would begin  by talking about something we should all try to focus on -being your own bestfriend.

(This is not my photo but I found it on various instagram pages so I'm not sure where it's original source is.)

Being your own bestfriend is something we have all heard about from inspiring youtubers and celebrities and read about in the occasional motivating articles we find in magazines. It is not, however, something we always put it into practice. 

Being your own bestfriend isn't vain or selfish in anyway and it doesn't mean sending our friends packing just to sit in a corner and hug ourselves -even though hugs are the best. It's about putting your wellbeing and your happiness first in order to maintain your mental health and to prevent you from feeling rubbish about yourself.

Sometimes, for whatever reason, we can have those days where we look in the mirror and just don't like ourselves. We begin to point out our flaws and re-live everything we've done wrong and everything that we'd like to change. It's when the little voice in the back of our mind speaks up and tell us we're not pretty, we have no friends, we have no talent, we can't achieve our dreams etc. and if we're not careful, we can begin to believe it. 

So let's think about this for a moment. Let's imagine that we said the things we tell ourselves to someone else. Imagine you told your bestfriend that they were fat, ugly, useless, alone etc. Do you think they would still be your bestfriend? The answer, unless you have a one in a million, should be no. We would never tell our bestfriend cruel things about themselves and yet we can quite easily sit and say those same hurtful things to ourselves. Nobody wants to hear that; nobody should have to hear that. So why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we make ourselves feel rubbish when we're the only person that we are guaranteed we will always be around? Why do we bully the one person we're going to spend every minute of our lives with? Life would be so much easier and we would be so much happier if instead of being our own worst enemy, we became our own best friend.

So instead of dwelling on mistakes we've made, let's learn to laugh at ourselves and learn from them. Instead of telling ourselves that we look terrible today, let's tell ourselves that we'll try to be extra beautiful on the inside. Instead of treating ourselves and our worries with little respect, let's make ourselves feel special and learn to love our quirks, flaws and weaknesses equally to our strengths - just as we would a friend. Because that's what being a friend is all about; accepting and loving the other person for who they are - flaws and all.

Let's give it a go! I challenge you (once you've finished reading this post) to write down 10 things you love about yourself (either in your diary, on the back of a bus timetable or even better, in a comment below). It can be anything from your smile to the way you make a mean cheesecake - anything. You deserve to know everything that makes you special and who knows you better than you? 

People come and go in our lives, but we will never be without ourselves so why not make life better by showing ourselves some love?

Mollie

♥

Breathe Slow

Hello everyone.

I’ve realised that week by week I have to go back and look at my previous post to remember what it contained. That’s the great thing about having a blog I guess, it reminds me (and gives you an insight into) what is happening in my life at a particular time and my likes, dislikes, attitudes and memories of that time.

Speaking of likes and dislikes, I have always really enjoyed Alesha Dixon’s song Breathe Slow. It has been my go-to song whenever I’ve felt stressed out, weighed down or just generally needed a reminder to just relax -I especially enjoy listening to it during exams.

This has been one of those weeks where I’ve took a quiet moment to listen to it (or sing… if nobody’s listening). It’s been a little stressful and as an already self-confessed stresser it’s been tiring. As you know I’ve had my Advanced Higher art to finish this week (it's all I seem to blog about) and with only two days available to go into school and sort it I wasn’t sure if I’d get it done. To my surprise though I managed to dash into school, package and label everything and get the next bus two hours later as I had completed it. Art coursework? Check.

But the most stressful event this week has been quite a personal one. There was a bit of a family situation which took place involving a loved one going to hospital to receive some potentially devastating news. It’s quite difficult to even write about so I won’t go into detail. I’d also prefer to keep it private. But thankfully, after many, many prayers the news we received was not as bad as expected and normality I beginning to resume in the family.

One thing this has taught me though is that life is too short. I spend the majority of time stressing about one thing or another- worrying about what other people think of me to what I’ll have on my toast in the morning-and to be honest, I’m being pretty ridiculous. So what if I make mistakes? What does it matter what others think about me? Why should I sweat the small stuff? Life is too short and too amazing to worry about the silly little things. The bigger picture is what’s important. I have my health, I have amazing friends and family, a job, opportunities, hobbies, an education; all the things that make me happy. It doesn’t matter what the next person thinks of my life because they’re not living it. Everyone is unique and different and beautiful in their own way.

I’ve realised this is now turning a little preachy but it is only because this is something that really touches my heart. It’s your life, live it how YOU want to and do things that make YOU happy and that will make YOU smile when you sit in your rocking chair one day and reminisce.

Another thing that has happening this week is that because of all my stressing I have rushed my days away before I even knew it therefore leaving hardly any time to appreciate what’s going on. This happens sometimes for me because of my worrying which is why I occasionally have a reflective day where I chill out at home and just process my life a little –this is where I get inspired for a lot of things. I read my Bible, write in a diary or my “What I’m grateful for today” book and just think. Because part of life being so short is that we need to treasure and remember every happy moment of it.

This leads me back to the beginning of my blog, –a circle of writing, my old English teacher would be proud- where I talked about how grateful I am to have a blog where I can put my thoughts and ideas down so I won’t ever forget them.

So, this week I’m going to make a conscious effort to Breathe Slow and take everything in so that when I’m sitting in my stockings, false teeth and cardigan I can look back and remember each precious moment of my life and remember how blessed I am to live it.

I’d also like to add that something else I am grateful to have also come out of our horrible ordeal this week is that I feel I have reconnected with my Christian faith and more importantly, with Jesus. He gave me peace on the day of the news that I can’t describe and led me to passages that gave me hope and for that I’m so blessed.

Mollie

♥