It's been a while. I'm glad to be returning after lots of university application organising - applied to all my unis now, hooray! Today I thought I'd do a Mollies Thoughts post as it has been a very long time since I last wrote one. Today's post is about people pleasing.
Since being little, I have always enjoyed helping to make other people happy. Everyone does; there's no feeling like putting a smile on someone else's face. Being a people-pleaser is a noble profession and in a world of many "how will this benefit me"s, it is an occupation which could do with more takers. It is not, however, an easy job.
People pleasing is, just as the name implies, pleasing other people even sometimes at the cost of your own happiness. This is really what I want to talk about today. Sometimes in the process of trying to please others we can forget that we also need to be happy ourselves. It's not selfish, it's life. No one is responsible for other people's happiness. We are responsible for not negatively affecting someone's happiness, but it is not our job to create it. That is far too much pressure for one person to take on. Nobody can make everyone happy; nobody can please everyone. There are going to be times in life when what you want isn't what someone else wants and there is nothing you can do about that. This is something we all have to cope with because in life we change and we grow and in order to do this you can't question every move you make because somebody else might not like it. Life is yours to make and life is yours to live. So long as you're a kind and compassionate person, there is nothing more anyone can ask of you. A way of making others happy is by being your fun and happy self and you cannot be that if you spend your life shaping yourself to other people's expectations.
Live for you.
Just something I've been pondering recently. I will see you soon now that I'm a little more organised again. Until then,
hi mollie :) I’m martin from ayr, I think you’re a good people pleaser :) I was looking through scottish independence debates and speeches on youtube and searched to see if there was anything in arran and I found the video of you talking about the power-cuts you folks had over there, I ended up watching lots of your videos because I thought they were really nice, funny, honest and open :) very clever stuff, my favourite was the one with you and your sisters singing ‘walking in a winter wonderland’ with the amazing synchronised plastic cup instrumentation lol :) congratulations on getting into edinburgh university, I’m sure you’ll do great if it’s a film & tv course, it’s clear you have lots of talent with video :)
ReplyDeleteI think about pleasing people often, I was fortunate enough to have a loving environment when I was growing up so I know the value of being good. I don’t usually think of it in my head as people pleasing, usually I think of the words pain and pleasure, I know how bad pain is and I know how wonderful pleasure is so I work on spreading the latter rather than the former, both in myself and others. I think I’m doing ok at it, I’m 31 now and I’ve had some really tough times with mental illness but nothing will ever stop me from doing everything I can to be kind and loving. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head when you said that you need to keep yourself happy in order to stay well and help other people. nobody feels like spreading joy when they are in pain, but when you’re happy it just flows and you can cheer other people up :) your videos cheered me up, I haven’t felt very energetic recently, my grass is about a foot tall and my flat is a bit of a mess lol :) hhmm….need to do a washing..lol :) I mean I was enjoying all the scottish independence debates and speeches but your videos made me laugh, plus I’ve always loved arran, I used to go there on holiday when I was young, so it was great to see them because of that as well. we spread my papa’s ashes at the top of goat fell and I always look across the water with a smile when I’m at the beaches over here. I was at troon beach last night with my mum actually, we’ve been investigating the beaches around here a lot this summer, it’s awesome, all the stress fades away, although I saw some seagulls picking on a heron the other night at newton shore, they’re never bloody happy I gave them chips and everything lol :) can’t stay angry at them for long though, they’re one of my favourite animals, we were skimming stones last night and I threw a right good one and one of the seagulls followed it to see what it was before it stopped skimming it was ace :) I dunno it might have thought it was a fish or something. ok I’ve blethered for long enough - thanks for the great work and hope to see more soon :) best wishes from martin :0)
Hello Martin!
DeleteI cannot tell you how much your comment made me smile! I am so sorry I am replying so late but I have only just seen it.
I am so glad that my videos made you smile and cheered you up and thank you for your kind words-it means so so much to hear!
You sound like a very kind person and I like your attitude with being kind to others based on your own experiences with the receiving of kindness. And that is awesome that you have been to Arran and you like it. It is a truly beautiful place in many ways.
I hope my videos and blogs can keep bringing you a little joy to your day because that would be a great achievement on my behalf.
Many thanks again for your lovely lovely comment. x
you’re welcome mollie :0) I want you to know something, you probably already do but just incase I’ll blether again lol :) I notice you have religion in your life, and i do too, to a certain extent, as I was taken to church as a child so I know a wee bit about religion in the catholic area. when I was young i got a sad feeling in my heart when I doubted the possibility of life after death, I chose to shy away from religion in my late teenage years and put my faith in science and the natural world, the universe. what I want you to know is that faith in scientific fact does not deplete the chance of life after death, of heaven or something on the way to it. scientific fact shows the universe to be so big as to show us to be humbled in any logical mind. to be so old and mysterious in it’s origin as to tell us with the evidence of how our evolution has sparked in such a short space of time, that indeed anything is possible. it’s a very big universe, there is no truth in the certainty of no continuation of who we are and who we love after this life, I didn’t know that when i was young and just wanted to mention it. ok bye :D from martin :0) <3
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