Inspiration can come from some strange places and this post's inspiration came from the last annual high school awards ceremony I'll be a part of that took place this Thursday. As I sat in formal dress of my choice-not the mandatory shirt and school-tie combo we used to have to wear whilst at school-and watched the younger years collecting their merit and effort awards which I used to be so very proud of receiving, I couldn't help but feel a little sad that it was all over.
I wasn't there as a student, I was there as a highschool leaver, a spectator, a simple relation of someone (my sister) who was part of this ceremony. In other words, I was no longer there as part of the school and that kind of felt strange. The feeling grew as me and my friends who were the Heads and Deputy Heads last year stood and handed over the badges to those who'd be taking on these roles now that we'd left. C'est fini.
Among all this nostalgia I began to think about my first year of highschool and how much things - and I - have changed since then and so I thought I'd write today about everything I'd tell my younger, first-year self as a now graduated highschool leaver.
1.Don't worry about making friends. You will eventually find people as crazy as you.
I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach, the dry mouth and the shaky hands as a tiny (I was quite small for my age to begin with) almost mute, brown-haired Mollie toddled into high-school for the first induction day. To make things worse for me, whilst everyone was there with friends from primary and their school jumpers, I was stood in a generic shirt and tie and I didn't know anyone because I had been home-taught for two years prior to highschool so I was truly terrified. I remember I ate lunch by myself in the canteen because I hadn't met anyone properly by that time and ended up not finishing it because I felt so sick from nerves until someone I'd met through a friend who moved away came and talked to me and introduced me to her friends. From then on I weaved in and out of various friend circles and made lots of new friends right up to 6th year where i became best friends with three crazy ladies I often mention in my blog - Kirsty, Iona and another Kirsty (chummy).
2. Don't forget to breathe.
Apparently I was always desperate to go to school when I was little -nerd- and I've always loved learning and so I was all set for achieving my best at highschool but, the thing was, at highschool I began to realise that learning a lot can be quite difficult. And, as well all know, I'm not the most organised pickle in the pantry so as the workload increased at school, so did my stress levels as I desperately tried to get the best grades I possibly could. Luckily for me, the highschool on Arran has some amazing teachers and so help was always at hand and my parents have always been incredibly supportive no matter how I've done at school but I myself was never satisfied until I'd got an A. I can't count how many all-nighters I pulled for something as petty as an informal class test and how many tears fell on mountains of books that covered my bedroom floor around exam times. For me no test was "unimportant" and the idea of disappointing a teacher was unthinkable (could I make myself sound any cooler?) and so, if I could go back and visit first-year Mollie, I'd tell myself to lay off the pressure a little.
3. Don't leave everything to the last minute.
I don't know about you, but another reason I became so stressed around test times was because I had a terrible habit for leaving everything to the last minute. The only thing was though, as I mentioned before, I was not willing to settle for second best with my work which is why no matter how long I put off work, if staying up all night the week before a deadline to get it done was necessary, I'd do it. Not the most practical approach to life.
4. Don't wear flip-flops to school.
Enough said.
5. Don't compare your progress and your work to others'.
This is something I think we are all guilty of in many aspects of life - work, relationships, appearence etc. - and it's not healthy. There's no point comparing yourself to others because no matter what, you're not them. You are not a clone and so you obviously don't have the same strengths and weaknesses and so any comparison you make to another person/people isn't valid because it isn't a fair judgment. I only did standard grade biology but I know what a fair experiment looks like.
Besides, when you stop focusing on what others are doing you can start focusing on what you're doing which is what will actually get you somewhere. During 5th year English, I used to always compare myself to the "cleverclogs" of the class which meant that no matter how much I progressed, in my eyes it wasn't good enough unless it was up to their standard. Until one day I thought, "right, well this isn't getting me anywhere, let's start focusing on my work and seeing how I can progress from my previous work" and after that, my grades literally got so much better until I managed to get one of the highest grades in the class in an essay. All because I stopped comparing myself to others and focused on my own work.
6. Don't be ashamed to be yourself.
From the first day of highschool I was very aware of what I did, said, wore and took part in because, like every teenager in highschool, I was just trying to fit in. This sometimes resulted in me feeling restricted on how much I could show others who I was for fear of judgment. But the thing is, who cares what somebody thinks? Does the fact that someone doesn't like your laugh make the joke any less funny? Is someone's opinion on your hair going to make it fall out? No. It has no impact whatsoever on you physically in anyway and so we should choose not to let it affect us mentally. Don't let anyone tell you not to be yourself. We're all designed to be unique in our own way and highschool is the perfect opportunity for you to begin to find yourself and your identity so make the most of it!
7. Do enjoy every moment of it.
There have been a lot of "don't"s so far in what I'd like to tell my younger self but at the end of the day, despite doing all of these things that on reflection I should have tried to avoid, I'm still here, I had fun, I got good grades and I have lots of happy memories. The point of highschool is not what you shouldn't do anyway, it's what you should do and what you can do. Highschool is where you can make some life-long friends, discover your likes and dislikes and opinions on the world, learn some amazing things and take some great opportunities. Sure there's pros and cons here and there but you never really appreciate what you have until it's gone. Now that I've left school I can really see what an amazing journey it has been with more wonderful memories than I can count on my fingers and toes. So if I could visit little nervous Mollie in her shirt and tie and blushing cheeks, I'd tell her the most important thing to do at highschool is treasure every moment of it.
Mollie
♥
What would you tell your younger self? Is there anything you would have done differently?
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